I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
