when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
