He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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