Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
