Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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