It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
