How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
