I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
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I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
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I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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