Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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