Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize