So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
