peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
