How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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