i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
