Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
