God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
