It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize