Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
