There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
