She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
