The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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