No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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