4 words: hood of his car
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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