He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
