the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
