At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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