And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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