you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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