I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
