Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
