Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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