Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The uberlube is also flammable
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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