yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
