Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
