Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
