Can i not drive my cunt home
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This is my gift to your gina
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sorry about my life...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
