Me. At least after what I've been through.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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