I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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