I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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