...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
