I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
