then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Be still, my beating vagina.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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