question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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