Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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