Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
