i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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