U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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