Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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