LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
