don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize