I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
