we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
