eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
