I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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