is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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