I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Boobs are out for the taking
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
