I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
